April 16, 2009

"Repulsing is my business... and business is good" OR the story of my Subway Epic Fail

Did I tell you the story of how I went to Subway yesterday? Well, I went to Subway to get my "Chuck" five dollar footlong, and of course, the counter was manned by an incomprehensible Indian guy. He got me my sub and I just told him to put everything on it because I couldn't really understand him when he asked questions so i just kept saying "yes" whenever he spoke. "Wrdkjt brsojrh aplrs?" "Yes." Carrots. "Wrdkjt trsrnn ikksk?" "Yes." Green peppers. Turns out, however, "yes" doesn't work as an answer to "What kind of bread do you want?" That one started us on the wrong foot, alas. But it was all good, he got my sub filled to the brim with veggies and I was happy since I, in fact, ordered a veggie sub.

Then when I went to pay I asked if they had customer service cards so I could fill one out (to put my comment about "Chuck" on it, I thought to myself), but the Cashier Girl was like, "No," and looked at me like I had just asked her to smell my fart. Then she got defensive and said, "Did you have a comment about the service?" in a vaguely threatening way so as to induce me to reconsider my nefarious plan to rip their service a new butthole on the comment card, and then I felt bad because the service was fine and I didn't want them to think I was going to complain, so...

I had to tell her about "Chuck" and the five dollar footlong save the show campaign and she just looked at me with this look like I had just peeled back the skin of my face and pooped my pants at the same time. I was embarrassed, obviously, and then to rub it in my face for being such a nerd, she was like, "Yeah, we don't have any cards," as if the request was so beyond the pale I should just commit sepuku right then and there. I didn't want to give up that easily, but what could I do, her bitchface was up to 11 and she obviously felt herself to be a million times cooler than me -- me with my TV show fandom obsession -- and she probably doesn't even watch TV, just reads books and hangs out with her boyfriend. Anyway, I basically shuffled out of there holding my footlong bag like a tail between my legs.


But I will not be deterred! There are other Subways in town and I will continue to seek out a customer service card to tell Subway that their sponsorship of "Chuck" is working!!!!!

Or I'll just write them a letter.


  1. The things you do for Chuck! No one can doubt your obsession, I mean dedication to the show now! :)

    Also, don't worry about Bitchy Cashier Girl. The only book she's probably read is Twilight.

  2. Ha! It's funny because it's (probably) true! ;)

    Thanks for the comment, btw. :)