Gardening at Night

Most of my life is wondering what the hell I’m doing. These are the times when I play R.E.M. and figure out nothing except that the stars are shining and jangly guitars are the balm that soothes every suburban disturbance. But it’s enough. I’m amazed at my own ineptitude at adulthood, but spin a few R.E.M. records and I’m right back in middle school and it’s all fine, just the night sky and stars that shine, lawn glistening with evening dew. I can always be jittery/nervous/anxious kid in glasses with dreams of running through creek river waters on Sundays, leaves changing in October, buried squids at the 50 yard line… watching SNICK, autumn moths playing Kick-the-Can, the ecstasy of the twelve-year-old heart.

Can I pick a favorite album? This is an impossibility. It’s like picking my favorite toe or declaring which hair on my head is the one I’d like to keep when all the rest are gone. It can’t be done because every R.E.M. album I own is a part of my actual life, part of my skin and my memory, part of myself, both real and imaginary, every song a strand of my DNA. It’s a little scary that one band could weave itself so completely into the sinews of my existence, but there it is. I am the child of Automatic for the People, and Out of Time, and Green, and Document, and Monster, and Fables of the Reconstruction, and Murmur, and Life’s Rich Pageant. I am the child of Chronic Town. Each one painting a canvas on my brain, coloring in the lines of my existence. Think this is exaggeration?

Automatic for the People was the first CD I ever bought with my own money. It is still the album I play at the start of every summer, the album that I play when I want to remember a neverwas childhood. I bought Green and Out of Time on cassette, the first “alternative” music I owned, and I played them till they warped. They have since warped me with their elegiac, ecstatic brilliance. Monster was the soundtrack of every 8th grade party in the Fall of ‘94. “What’s the Frequency, Kenneth?” will always and forever be Kris’s garage and the smell of cigarettes behind the pool. I wrote piles of notebooks in high school to the strains of Murmur and Life’s Rich Pageant. I sit here writing this right now to the mumbly goodness of Chronic Town.

I cannot escape R.E.M. even though Berry, Buck, Mills, and Stipe have decided to escape each other. R.E.M. hasn’t really been the same since Bill Berry left in ’97, but when the remaining members finally ended the band a few weeks ago, I still felt bruised. It doesn’t matter that the band is over – I haven’t bought an R.E.M. album in thirteen years. But it matters that something has ended, whether or not I can figure out why. I just know that I can feel it. I’ve still got my memories of being a kid, alone with my thoughts, sitting on the bedroom floor writing bad poetry in a spiral notebook, listening to “Find the River” on repeat, only now there’s an added twinge of loss, as if the memories have dimmed because the band that sang them into existence has ended.

I’m a writer because of a multitude of influences: C.S. Lewis, Jim Henson, Ray Bradbury, 11th Grade A.P. English. But R.E.M.’s music is the music of my pen, the music of my stories and poems. The soundtrack to my writer’s life. Everything I’ve ever written has somehow flowed from their music, both consciously and unconsciously, a flood of Sadness and Wonder. Theirs is the music that sang me into existence, tender child of eleven, looking for a music that would teach me that I wasn’t alone in my longing. Quiet Ophelia, looking for the bergamot and vetiver. I found it in the chords of a rock band from Athens, GA.

So, have we all agreed

that tumblr is basically the new frontier of old movie fandom?

Good.

Screening Log for June 2011

Ghidorah, The Three-Headed Monster (C+)
X-Men: First Class (A-, I have a thing for Fassbender and McAvoy, okay?)
Words and Music (B+)
Uncle Silas (B)
The Leech Woman (B+)
Death of a Scoundrel (B)
Adam and Evelyne (B+)
The Gay Sisters (B+/D+ ... basically, I can't make up my mind about this movie)
Trio (A-)
Winter's Bone (B+)
So Long at the Fair (A)
Requiem for a Heavyweight (A-)
Lizzie (C-)
The Robe* (C)
The Blue Lagoon (1949) (B, for guilty pleasure reasons)
The Actress* (A-)
The Grass is Greener* (B)
This Could Be the Night (B+)
Affair with a Stranger (B-/C+)
Young Bess* (B+, for nostalgic reasons)
Public Speaking (A-)
Water for Elephants (B+)
Angel Face* (A+)
Stage Fright (B)
A Bullet is Waiting (D+)
Footsteps in the Fog (B+)
She Couldn't Say No (C)
Home Before Dark (A-)
Life at the Top (B+)
Elmer Gantry* (B+)
Rodan (C)
The Blob (B+, the "plus" is for Steve McQueen)
The H-Man (C+)
The Clouded Yellow (B+)

*Movies I've seen before

Independence Day Obsession: AN AMERICAN IN PARIS

Latest Classic Cinema Obsession is HERE.

So, I just ordered three Jean Simmons movies from the Warner Archive Collection...

... because I'm not ready to say goodbye to Jean Simmons! Jean was TCM's Star of the Month in June and I'm already beyond sad that June is now officially over. Farewell, SOTM Jean! I offer my admiring thoughts about Ms. Simmons HERE at Libertas in my latest Classic Movie Journal.

I also wax poetic about one of her best movies, ANGEL FACE (Preminger, 1952). It's as disturbing and genuinely shocking a film noir as any I've seen. In fact, back in the day Jean-Luc Godard included it as one of his ten best American films EVER, which is pretty freakin' high praise!

Your LEAVE HER TO HEAVEN Picture of the Day

Derelict Goes to Hollywood

Basically, the TCM Classic Film Festival was everything I hoped it would be and more. To read my rambling musings on the whole shebang, go to Libertas Film Magazine HERE.

I stuck to my schedule for the most part, but I did make some interesting changes and ended up seeing movies I wasn't planning to see, both out of choice and necessity. Final verdict on the festival: I will definitely be going again next year.

And it turns out Twitter -- which I resisted for so long -- is pretty darn cool. I ended up meeting fellow festival-goers @tpjost, @salesonfilm, and @oldfilmsflicker through Twitter and they turned out to be very groovy people indeed. Meeting other old movie fanatics who are also young?! WIN!

What I'm Planning to See at the TCM Film Fest

This is always subject to change, because I'm just one of those wild and crazy spontaneous kinda gals and who the heck knows what I'll feel like doing once I get there, but here's what I'm hoping to see at the Festival as of today, Wednesday, April 27th:

Thursday
6:30 PM -- AN AMERICAN IN PARIS (red carpet walkin', yo!)
10:15 PM -- THE DEVIL IS A WOMAN (As a newly-made disciple of Sternberg, how could I not?)

Friday
10:00 AM -- THE CONSTANT NYMPH (How can I go against The Siren?)
1:00 PM -- ROYAL WEDDING (Astaire. On a ceiling. Dancing. 'Nuff said.)
4:00 PM -- BRITISH AGENT (Leslie Howard takes on the Bolsheviks)
6:15 PM -- DESIGN FOR LIVING (I've never seen this essential classic, so what better way to see it than on the big screen?)
9:15 PM -- DODSWORTH (Again, this is One of the Greats, and I've never seen it. My plan for this festival is to have as many "first time" viewings as possible.)
12:00 AM -- THE TINGLER (How could I resist?)

Saturday
12:30 PM -- HOOP-LA (MOMA restoration of Clara Bow's last film)
3:45 PM -- WENT THE DAY WELL? (It was a tough call: Do I go to the rarely-seen movie I've never heard of before OR do I see one of my all-time favorites in a new 70th anniversary restoration? While I'm not normally one to pass up the opportunity to see CITIZEN KANE on the big screen, I don't think I can miss the chance to see a rarity like WENT THE DAY WELL?)
7:00 PM -- THE CAMERAMAN (with Vince Giordano and His Nighthawks Orchestra!)
9:30 PM -- GASLIGHT (Angela Lansbury will be there. Can't. Wait.)

Sunday
7:30 AM -- Mass! (The most important event of the festival)
9:15 AM -- THE SID SAGA (I honestly have no idea what this will be like, but it sounds too crazy to miss!)
3:45 PM -- A TRIBUTE TO THE NICHOLAS BROTHERS (Between Fred Astaire in ROYAL WEDDING and this Nicholas Brothers tribute, I'll be in movie dancing heaven)
5:45 PM -- LAUGH O'GRAMS (I'll probably leave the Nicholas Brothers tribute early to get a good seat for these cartoon shorts. Widely known fact: I wanted to be a Disney cartoonist when I was seven years old.)
7:15 PM -- FANTASIA (One of my movie obsessions.)

Behold, the Pizza Pillow!

Made in 1994 and still going strong.

It's almost here...

The Greatest Four Days of My Life are almost here. On Thursday, I'm off to Hollywood for the Turner Classic Movies Film Festival.

If you want to know just how much TCM and this festival means to me, go read my tribute to TCM at Libertas and then (God help me) follow me on Twitter if you want to get up-to-the-minute updates on what I'm doing at the festival.

I'll also be covering the festival for Libertas, so keep checking back there for my articles and reviews.

Just FYI

There are some thoughts you’re not supposed to admit in the vast cyber-reaches of Internet foo-foo movie-critics-land – stuff like, “Hey, I’m kinda jazzed about seeing SCREAM 4!” maybe because the first SCREAM movie was my first real horror movie theater experience when I was a high school freshman and I freaked out, almost vaporizing into a puff of utter frozen terror when Drew Barrymore was being chased by Ghost Face, and I was screaming, “I don’t want to be here, I don’t want to be here, I don’t want to be here,” until my best friend had to hold my hand and calm me down and then we watched the rest of the movie and I loved it, so if I want to relive a little teenage nostalgia I’m allowed to – because, of course if you type such words, if you reveal such ill-formed taste as to actually like that movie, or that director, or that star, or that franchise, you’re revealing yourself as nothing more than a philistine troglodyte mouth-breather idiotface who should just go back to watching American Idol and stop writing about movies, and look, I’m not saying good taste isn’t important or that we shouldn’t have standards in art, but whatever a movie is – art or trash – it can sometimes work a strange, glorious magic in the individual who watches it, even when, objectively speaking, it ain’t very good.

Which is to say, I’m going to see SCREAM 4 this weekend.

My latest Obsession

I've decided to stick around in Dark Alley for my latest article on Libertas. It's a visual essay on the underrated Fritz Lang noir, HUMAN DESIRE (1954), starring Glenn Ford, Gloria Grahame, and Broderick Crawford.

Check it out HERE.

Coleen Gray: A Haiku Quartet

This post is part of the For the Love of Film (Noir) Fundraiser Blogathon. Go HERE to donate.

She was the quintessential "good girl" of Film Noir. While the scheming, murderous bad girls of noir got all the attention, Gray was quietly lending her talents to some of the key films of the genre, including KISS OF DEATH, NIGHTMARE ALLEY, and THE KILLING.

In fact, her performance in NIGHTMARE ALLEY is essential to the film. In a role that could have come off as cloying and one-note, Gray imbues Molly with a conflicted conscience and a grounded genuineness that makes her character's goodness feel real. The realness of Molly's goodness makes Stan's descent into ruin that much more tragic.

Here's my haiku tribute to the wonderful Coleen Gray.

I.
Nice girl goes slumming.
Watch out for Tommy Udo,
Wheelchair assassin.

II.
Electra the Amazing,
Cited for indecent exposure.
Say a prayer for the Geek.

III.
Oh Leech Woman, your
John Wayne costar days are long
Gone! B-flicks pay bills.

IV.
Good Girl of Film Noir.
Such seedy stories. Who thought
She would find Jesus.

For the Love of Film (Noir)

It's been almost five days since the For the Love of Film (Noir) blogathon fundraiser started, and even though I contributed a post over at LFM, I just realized I haven't actually donated any MONEY to the cause.



Yeah, so I'm picking my jaw up off the floor and heading on over to donate.

And if you're reading this blog, then I'd suggest you go donate too. Click the neat-o image below to go to the donation page.



Just think, your donation (and mine) will go towards restoring THE SOUND OF FURY (aka TRY AND GET ME), a 1950 noir starring Lloyd Bridges and directed by Cy Endfield. That's worth shelling out a few clams for, I'd say. As it stands right now, the donations are behind this year compared to last, so our options are: Go heist an armored car for the dough, or DONATE more.

If you don't feel like donating, perhaps this guy (courtesy of Robert Siodmak's CRISS CROSS) will convince you:



I hate to threaten, but this IS a film noir fundraiser, so it seems appropriate.

Thanks to The Siren and Marilyn Ferdinand (and Greg Ferrara!) for putting this whole shebang together.

NIGHT AND THE CITY 12

NIGHT AND THE CITY 11

NIGHT AND THE CITY 10

NIGHT AND THE CITY 9

NIGHT AND THE CITY 8

NIGHT AND THE CITY 7